Depression, Blogs, and Wikipedia

My opinion? Depression has to be the worst thing in the world. I was diagnosed with depression in college, and I'm constantly facing triggers that bring me back to those low points in my life.


I've seen these triggers the past few days, and they came to a climax today. I couldn't get out of bed till the evening when our little dog curled up at my back. I got up and tried to reach functioning status, but I'm not exactly there. I ate three quarters of a sandwich and then felt sick to my stomach. I have been suicidal in the past, and I refuse to let myself  reach that point again. I guess you can say I'm grateful for those moments, but I'm even more thankful for a husband who has seen some of my ideations and knows how to keep an eye on me. There are some who discredit depression as being a disease, that those who are feeling "sad" simply need to count their blessings, pray, or realize that their issues aren't as bad as others. Depression is, in fact, a real disease. Unless you have experienced how the chemical imbalance pulls you down to suicidal ideation, you who dismiss depression have no argument!

So, that's been my situation lately, and I confess that the depression has prevented me from writing. But, it's not the only reason. A friend mentioned to me that my recent blogs have gone over his head.


My blogs reflect what I've learned about neuroscience. I want to become more educated in the field so I can present myself intelligently when pursuing internships. Perhaps, though, there is a better venue for the concepts I've learned. I definitely don't want to lose my readers, and I do want my readers to comment.

So, moving forward, I will focus my blogs on my goals and how I've accomplished them.


What are my goals for this week?
  • Initially, I wanted to watch the live stream of the Clinton Global Initiative, an bipartisan international event where individuals are invited to present their thoughts on issues that affect our world. I missed every session I wanted to watch, so I'll have to find the video streams in archives.
  • Second, I want to learn more about the "modularity of the mind". Don't worry: I won't define that, but my definition of learning is researching those who have studied the topic and have discussed their opinions. I have never done this in the past, but I'm actually using wikipedia for my inspiration! The article on modularity of the mind mentions various researchers who have studied the topic, so it gives me a starting point.
  • Finally, I'm seeking a private counselor. Medicaid allows six sessions with a state counselor. Given my numerous issues, six sessions are simply not sufficient. My doctors have changed my medication twice, but I develop a tolerance after only a few months. I am not sure how I'll afford private counseling, but my husband and I have recognized the need, so I need to pursue that option.
Please stay with me as I continue to blog and feel free to call me on those blogs that are too technical. I recognize that I have a diverse group of readers, and I appreciate everyone of you!
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